I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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