I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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