I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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