Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
