people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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