franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
