Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
