I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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