Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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