Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize