You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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