i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
