Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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