Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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