my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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