they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
