Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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