i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize