Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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