My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
