I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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