you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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