am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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