i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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