i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
