every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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