You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
