Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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