we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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