Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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