just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
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He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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