Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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