My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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