He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
