you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
