you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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