You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
