Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
