So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
