I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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