So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm too high and old for this...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
