what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
