So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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