He asked me if I "almost moaned"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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