im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize