I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well