Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Enjoy the penises
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.