physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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