Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.