i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.