The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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