Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize