ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Drunk is not a location!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
