All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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