Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize