what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
