things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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