he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
