How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
