Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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